Monthly Archive for April, 2008

Will you play this at my funeral?

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4K2VTLZ7qc]

“I dont want to be your regret, I’d rather be your cocoon”

So many things go through my head, so much is changing. It’s like a merry-go-round that keeps speeding up and I’m trying to hold on to. So many different aspects are affected:

  1. job
  2. transportation
  3. love
  4. family
  5. housing
  6. friends
  7. band
  8. future

Some things were mentioned to me yesterday, that made me think. One of these was, how important my current home location might actually be to me. I never really considered this a likable city, nor do I particularly like living here. If anything I see myself in bigger cities or somewhere completely else altogether. Furthermore I never really thought of myself much as of a nature-person. The older I get, the more I suppose I have to rethink this paradigm as well. It’s rather odd; I feel like I am peeling out of a shell right now; the problem being, I always thought I was happy in the first place and never wanted to leave my cocoon. It’s sort of like deconstructing myself. A year ago, everything seemed so laid out and pretty much perfect. Now, everything is de- and reassembled.

Apart from that, today has been a little annoying: There was a lot of discussion about the new work contract I *almost* have what I want now. But just almost. Then the workers around the house locked me out of the garage; so I am stuck here without transportation at the moment. I am supposed to run errands and that blows. Plus I didn’t get to bike. And nobody knows whether there will be a key before dad comes back from recreation.
I talked to a few people I haven’t talked to in a while recently. Today I talked to Johanna F. for the first time. Last I have seen her was over 8 years ago… sometime in late 99 if I remember correctly. Then I got a call about playing band stuff a couple of days ago. That was surprising and I hope that this will really work out. Getting a bit of drumming out of my system might just be what I need apart from my bikes.
Speaking of which: I need to do something about the transportation situation as well. Car: overproportionally expensive. Moped: too slow. Compromise: Small motorbike or scooter. Still need to get the license though… yet another 300 will go out for that.