My own private Emocide

ok… at least i could get about 4 hours of sleep this morning. not much in 60 hours but of course better than nothing. losing my weight is no problem either now… more than 7 pounds in less then 2 days - thats my personal best. dont feel well anyway. already was thinking of changing my flight and go there at once. my bags are packed. to follow my heart. i pray for not having it broken again. love hurts. and i love mehgan.
i just remember about the “mario and his fuckin timing”-thing. its a curse - its ridiculous… i already could be over there if the date wouldnt have been changed - and - this damn phone call… wanted to say sorry… wanted to say “i CAN imagine living in the states”… hmmm… maybe its useless wasting just a single thought to “what would be if…”. revenge can be hard sometimes. maybe even too hard.
yesterday there was a cool thing on the “domian”-show. a guy called in there who’s 24 and got to know a girl in a chat some years ago. she was 16 and from washington dc. so he flew over to visit her just 2 weeks later and just came back then once to give up his live here and went back to live with her. he got a b2-visa so that he could stay there even longer. hmmm… why shouldnt we be able to make that too… oh… shit… i just forgot…