My own private Emocide

i dreamt of corinna again… hmmm… strange… but beautiful… and terrible at the same time - coz when you wake up, right when you wanna reach for it the dream bursts like a soapbubble… sent her a letter today - the 1st “real” letter for months.
this week is quite busy… yesterday i met monika from life radio, today i´ll meet gudrun and heve the “straight through this” radio show then, tomorrow i´ll meet barbara, on friday i´ll practice with “refusal till flatline”, on saturday i´ll meet iris - and hopefully georg - and finally on sunday i´ll practice with the coverband… i wanted to name it “the wanderers” - but i think “the topless muffins” would be cooler…
well… and next week i´ll become “ill” i think. i don´t really feel very well anyway and i think i deserve some days off…
by the way i hate missing and also getting used to it!

does anybody know how this feels like???
the heart tumblin´ and about to break out
out of the chest - followed by tears
tears - caused by loneliness
searching for ease
searching for you
trying to get peace again
the peace that used to be the shelter
of love and hope - against this world
trying to seperate us…

i was quite surprised when i read gan´s entry today: “[...] The whole situation with me and Doug and Andrea and Mario seems like one big soap opera though. [...]” - right - but it really isn´t of my business… i´m pulled into that situation and refusing this - i´m not an actor of THIS soap opera!